Happy Sangivin! November 25 2010

There are basically three frames of mind that I live in.

Negative. Sometimes, I'm gripey and whiney and complainey. I like hearing myself complain because its cathartic and it makes me feel better and clears my head. I actually really enjoy going to happy hour with other whiners because the conversation -- dripping with conflict -- is much more interesting.

Sometimes, I back into my whining. I know that if I ask my husband one more time, "Am I as big as her?" -- her being some random, clueless commuter standing next to us on the metro, he's going to claw his fingers through the train doors and throw me under the tracks because he knows where this conversation is headed. I know, there are things where I really need to build a bridge and get over it and just not talk about anymore.

Positive. Sometimes, I do yoga and I get all yogi and start sending "positive vibes" to people when I message them. What the hell does that even mean? I totally picked that up from other people and started using it myself, apparently. But point is, I start aspiring to better things in everything in my life. And I get all Walter Mercado on people and start wishing them good things, too.

Sometimes, I decide I want to do bigger things in life and I do them. I push forward, with the help and support of good friends and family, and somehow I get to where I want to be. I am determined and undaunted. Sometimes.

Thankful. Many times, I'm just thankful for what I have right now, at this moment. I can spend my day bitching about this thing that happened, or aspiring toward that, but Tomorrow is promised to no one. That is a truth that haunts me, but also reminds me to to relish every second of the now. It reminds me to stop and be thankful for all that I do have.

I am thankful for my family and friends above all. For being married to the most interesting, kindest, most wonderful person I know. For having a child that is sweetness incarnate, and who fills my life with happiness.

Happy Sangivin. Feliz Dia del Pavo. Or as we say in South Texas, Feliz Dia del Guajolote!