Google Autocomplete Fail: Why Do Mexicans ... August 05 2011

So I was about to do a search for "Why do Mexicans like burros?" as in pinatas and burrito sabanero, etc. etc. to research the post I was about to write -- and I know, that's probably not the best way I should've asked the question anyway, but I was thrown off track by the Google's suggestions for finishing my query of "Why do Mexicans ..." The responses are based on what people are searching for on Google, and it assumes it might just be what you're looking for, too. Unless you're a Mexican. This is Google Autocomplete FAIL. Check it out, so per Google, people want to know:

Why do Mexicans ... come to America.

...have so many kids.

...say jaja.

...stare.

I wasn't surprised by the first two, but the next two left me like seriously?? That's what people are searching for? Why do Mexicans stare? I just had to follow through with that search to see what came up. And big surprise, it's a Yahoo question.

Why do Mexicans stare?
Ok so im not racist at all...I even grew up in a latino neighborhood....and know a little spanish, but why do they stare?
I mean I go into say the market to get food and if there a mexican guy with his family and his wife rite there they stare....they even say nasty things in spanish! Is this considered sexy in there country because my father is from Venezuela and he said that's why he thought they did it. But my aunt said it was because I have blond hair and green eyes!
It just bothers me sometimes. 
Harry the Hispanic
PS. I have nothing against latinos......ive been around wonderfull latinos all my life!

**eyes rolling**

Jaja. Let's move on. There's obviously some ignorance and other stuff driving these questions. Still, its interesting in a voyeuristic, I can read people's minds kinda way. So that got me wondering what the all-knowing mind-reading Google is saying about other Latinos. So I switched it up to Cubans. Google's suggestions:

Why do Cubans ... come to America.

...vote Republican.

...drive old cars.

...hate Che.

Well, I dare the Googlers who typed that last question to stand up in Cafe Versailles in Miami and ask it. ño.

Okay, let's move on, Puerto Rico. This was now getting to be like turning up the Magic 8 balls.

Why do Puerto Ricans ... act black.

...look black.

...say bendicion.

...like Betty Boop.

Betty Boop? Serious? I had to go and look up this Boricua Boop craze was true, and the answers left me totally unsatisfied. They're most people talking out of their rears, and are not nearly as amusing as Gustavo Arellano's Ask a Mexican column which appears in the OC Weekly-- which, in my humble opinion, is the gold standard for Q&A's that deal with stupid/awful/funny/true stereotypes. He can take an acerbic question based in stereotype and hit you back with smart, snarky, funny and well-researched answers. I've been reading it for years now, and I can honestly say he serves up a good education for Mexicans, Latinos and non-Latinos alike. Love it. In case you haven't had the pleasure of reading for yourself, here's a taste from his most recent column:

DEAR MEXICAN: When I was in high school, my social-studies teacher and leader of our school's MEChA club had deep resentment toward the Spaniards/conquistadors who killed hundreds of thousands of Aztecs. He went so far as to deny that his own heritage comes partly from Spain, and he hated it when people would refer to him as a Latino/Hispanic. He would get so mad and say, "I'm not Spanish; I AM CHICANO!" What's your opinion on the subject? Do you feel hatred toward the Spanish?
DEAR WAB: I LOVE the Spaniards! Their adorable lisp! Their great porn! Dalí! (Wait—he's Catalan.) Guernica! (Wait—that was about the Basques.) The Alhambra! (Wait—that was Moors.) The fact that so many Mexicans wore Spain's jersey as it wound its way through winning the World Cup last year! The only Mexicans who hate Spaniards are of the yaktivist type, and the best commentary on the matter is the great Mexican muralist José Clemente Orozco's Cortés y la Malinche, which depicts a naked Hernán Cortés and his Indian concubine, Malintzin (popularly known as Malinche), looming over their dead mestizo son: The father and mother looking down at their defeated Mexico. Honestly, what is there to celebrate about a civilization that enslaved foreign lands, killed thousands of innocents and plundered to their desire? We're supposed to celebrate the Spaniards why? All of this said, for a Mexican to deny he has any Spanish blood in him when he's sporting a mustache as thick as Zapata's is as ludicrous as the Mexican who says he's pure-blooded Spanish despite having a nopal en la frente.

If you haven't read Arellano before, catch up by getting his book. And stop being like me and wasting time (and basing all your knowledge) on Google!!! Unless you can't resist, then just cut through it all and go to AutoCompleteFail.com and laugh your rear off.

And if you know anything about the Betty Boop thing -- or any of other Latino autocomplete fails -- drop me a comment.